So you’re getting married – whoo-hooo! What do you do once the champagne has been popped and the sparkly ring shown around? Time to get down to business and plan your wedding (or elopement if you’re preferring to do things on a smaller scale). A question that comes up occasionally, is Can we have a friend marry us in Australia?

Whether your wedding is big or small. Conducted in a park, church, beach or your own backyard, the ceremony will need to be conducted by a professional. But wait I hear you say – we want our friend to marry us! Here in this article, I’ll discuss the role of a celebrant or priest and ways you could have your friend marry you.

Who can marry you in Australia?

Registered celebrants. A celebrant is someone who has been authorised by the Australian Government to perform marriages. They have undergone training and are qualified to conduct ceremonies according to the law in Australia. A celebrant is the preferred choice for person to marry couples in Australia, with approximately 80% of couples opting for a celebrant over a religious setting.

Religious ministers. Religious ministers include minsters of religion, priests, rabbis, imams who are registered with the Australian Government to perform marriages. They must be registered as an official celebrant. Religious ministers will usually conduct ceremonies in a place of worship such as church. They can occasionally upon request travel to where the couple are choosing to have their ceremony such as a venue.

Ok, but I want my friend to marry us! Having a friend or family member marry you can seem like having a more personal touch – here are some reasons why it might not be the best move:

Experience: Officiating the wedding is the only legal part, the necessary part. Everything else is just the (fun) party that surrounds it. It is a bloody big deal. A professional will know how to handle the logistics, timing and legal stuff. They are also well versed with communicating with the family and other vendors to ensure everyone is comfortable and ready. The last thing you want is for the bride to coming down the aisle and the photographer is not ready!

Equipment: A registered celebrant will also come with all the necessary equipment such as PA systems and microphones. It isn’t any point having a beautiful ceremony if nobody can hear it. They often come with vow cards for you to write your vows in and help with any other special touches to make the ceremony more personal.

Focus: If your friend is acting as celebrant, they might miss out on the chance to fully enjoy the celebration with you.

Practice makes perfect: A celebrant will often arrange a rehearsal with you to ensure the ceremony runs smoothly and everyone knows their role on the day. They will advise you where to stand, what to do and say. This will help to alleviate nerves as everyone will know what’s happening on the day. They are also well versed to know how to handle situations when they run off script.

But I still want our friend to marry us! Ooh, alright then! If you absolutely MUST have your friend marry you, here are the 3 main ways this can happen:

Ask your friend to train as a celebrant if they have not done so already. The best way for the reasons stated above. A big ask! Approximately 12 months of training and costs upwards of $1000, this is not always feasible.

Have all the legalities done prior to the day in a legals only ceremony. Then have the friend perform the ‘ceremony’ on the day. So you will be actually officially married prior to the wedding by a civil celebrant and your friend can perform everything else on the day. They will tell your story and have you say vows to each other. To the guests, it will look and feel like a regular ceremony but there will no signing of paperwork as this will have been done prior as this is a legal requirement.

You could have your friend marry you on the day as well as having a civil celebrant present to take care of the legalities. Your friend would be conducing most of the ceremony and the civil celebrant will undertake the legal parts and wording.

It seems to have become a bit of a thing to want to have a friend or relative conduct the ceremony. Am I a fan? Nope, not at all. But you do you, boo. If you choose the right celebrant for your special day, you will have someone that by the end of the journey, the celebrant will feel like a friend and mentor. Someone who can really guide you along the way and tell your story in an engaging, and funny way. We have so many incredible celebrants in Melbourne. All with their different styles, there will absolutely be a celebrant right for you and your partner.

Need a little more convincing to have a professional do the job for you 😉 Here is a little clip of consummate pro, Sally Hughes delivering a gorgeous ceremony at a recent wedding at Vue on Halcyon:

Need any help choosing your perfect celebrant? You can view my previous blog post – The 17 best celebrants in Melbourne for inspo.

Photography and videography: Tamara Little Photography in conjunction with Stu Art Video