Recently I sat down with Fiona Garrivan, an established Melbourne celebrant with almost 17 years experience and hundreds of weddings under her belt to chat about all things celebrancy.

How did you become a celebrant and what drew you to the role?

Almost 17 years ago, a friend suggested I consider becoming a celebrant. At the time, it seemed like a role mostly taken on by people who had retired. I thought it might be something interesting to explore. There happened to be a course available so I decided to give it a go, with the intention of seeing what it involved. 

What drew me to the role, however, became clear as I started learning more about it. I was fascinated by the idea of helping people mark life’s most important moments in a meaningful and personal way. I realised that I could combine my love for storytelling and connecting with people. It wasn’t long before I knew this was something I wanted to continue long-term, not just as a hobby but as a career.  It has now been my full time job for 12 years and I feel privileged to be part of people’s most significant life moments. 

What do you love most about being a wedding celebrant?

I love the diversity of the people I meet.   It sounds cliché but it is absolutely true.  It can be easy to get caught up on the performance of a wedding but at the end of the day, it is the feeling that matters.  Being invited into that moment and helping creating something that feels honest and deeply personal, is what I love most. I hope the couples I marry, look back on their day and remember that feeling in the ceremony for years to come.   

How would you describe yourself as a celebrant?

After nearly 17 years as a celebrant, I would describe my wedding style as not overly formal, but intentional. I focus less on performance and more on creating the right feeling. 

For me, this is about allowing the ceremony to feel genuine, grounded and true to the people at the heart of the day. It can be easy for couples and guests to feel disconnected from a ceremony, so my role is to offer calm guidance, gentle structure and a sense of ease,  helping everyone relax, feel connected and be fully present in the moment.

What’s the process of working with you from booking to the wedding day?

When a couple get in touch, we start with an initial chat. This is a relaxed and obligation-free chat and is simply a chance to see if we’re the right fit for each other.

If they decide to book, I take care of the legal requirements and guide them through the paperwork in a straightforward, stress-free way. From there, we begin shaping a ceremony that feels genuine and intentional.

Closer to the wedding day, we meet again to talk through their story, the tone they want to create and any meaningful elements they would like included. I then draft the ceremony and share it with the couple so there are no unexpected surprises on the day. The last thing I want is for something to be said that might inadvertently feel sensitive or uncomfortable.

In the lead-up, I am available for questions and gentle guidance, without overwhelming them. On the wedding day itself, my role is to bring a calm, steady presence, arriving early, liaising  with other suppliers and creating a sense of ease so the couple can stay fully present in the moment.

My aim is that by the time they walk into their ceremony, everything feels settled, natural, and relaxed.

How do you help couples create a ceremony that reflects their personalities and values?

I start by really getting to know each couple, not just how they met, but what matters to them and how they want people to feel during the ceremony.

From there, we shape the ceremony together. I ask thoughtful questions and listen closely for the values, quirks and the milestones that define their relationship. Rather than following a formula, I focus on creating the right tone whether that’s warm, reflective, light-hearted or deeply intimate.

My role isn’t to take centre stage, but to create a meaningful part of the day that acknowledges why everyone has come together. I am also mindful not to share stories that belong in later speeches. The last thing I want is to upset a father of the bride by stealing all his material. After all, it’s far more powerful when those words come from him than from me.

Can you share some examples of unique ceremonies you’ve been part of?

Every ceremony is unique because it is shaped by the people, their values and often their culture. Respecting and honouring cultural traditions is an important part of my role and I take the time to understand what matters most so the ceremony feels both meaningful and authentic.

I have been part of ceremonies in many different settings that have been pretty unique, from intimate backyard gatherings surrounded by family, to standing atop a mountain in the Grampians where the landscape became part of the story being told. I have also officiated ceremonies along the Great Ocean Road with the Twelve Apostles as a breathtaking backdrop, for couples who have chosen to come to Australia to get married.

What makes these ceremonies special isn’t just the location, but the intention behind them. Whether it’s weaving cultural rituals into a modern ceremony, creating space for family participation or keeping things beautifully simple, my focus is always on creating a ceremony that feels grounded and personal.

What are some common worries couples have about their ceremony and how do you help ease them?

Many couples worry about being the focus of attention, particularly when it comes to speaking their vows in front of family and friends. Sometimes, sensitive family dynamics can add extra stress or uncertainty about how the day will unfold. And of course, there’s always a bit of concern about the weather, especially for outdoor ceremonies!

My role is to ease these worries by creating a calm and supportive environment. I help couples feel comfortable with the flow of the ceremony, guide them through their vows if they wish, and provide support for managing tricky family dynamics.   For outdoor ceremonies, I always suggest having a practical backup plan, so no one needs to stress about rain, wind or excessive heat. The goal is for everyone to remember the ceremony for all the right reasons.

What are some ways couples can personalise their ceremony?

There are so many ways couples can personalise their ceremony.

For some, it’s choosing a location that already holds meaning, a family home, a favourite beach or a place they return to again and again. For others, it’s about including the important people in their lives, such as children, grandparents or parents or finding thoughtful ways to involve their wedding party.

Personalisation can also come through acknowledging culture or heritage, honouring traditions that feel right or gently remembering those who can’t be there on the day but are still very much part of the story. Some couples choose to invite guest participation, creating moments where everyone feels connected rather than simply observing.

The possibilities are endless, you really can do almost anything. But the key is intention.

I don’t believe in adding elements just because they look good or sound nice. Nothing is included for the sake of it. Every choice should have meaning and feel authentic to the people standing at the heart of the ceremony. When it does, the ceremony becomes much more personal and that’s what people remember long after the day is over.

Do you recommend writing your own vows or sticking to traditional ones?

Whether a couple writes their own vows or chooses something more traditional is entirely up to them. My role isn’t to impose my preference but to support whatever feels right for the two of them.

If they decide to write their own vows, I don’t interfere with the content. I will, however, offer feedback if there’s a noticeable difference in length or tone, so they can decide together whether they would like to bring a sense of balance to them.

If traditional vows feel more meaningful,  the familiar words about loving one another in sickness and in health, that is equally valid. 

And for some couples, the most comfortable option is to share personal vows privately and speak only the legal words during the ceremony. That’s okay too.

There is no right or wrong choice.   Only one that feels right. 

What are the legal requirements for getting married in Australia and how do you support couples through that?

In Australia, the legal requirements for getting married are quite straightforward but they can feel a little daunting if you are unfamiliar with them. My role is to make sure nothing feels confusing or stressful and that all the legal boxes are ticked.

Legal requirements for marriage in Australia

You must both be at least 18 years of age 

You must be free to marry (not currently married to someone else).

You must not be closely related.

You need to lodge a Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) at least one month before the ceremony and no more than 18 months in advance.

On the day, you must have two witnesses, both over the age of 18, who understand English. During the ceremony, you must say the legal words required under Australian law. I take care of the other legal words and weave them in naturally so they don’t feel jarring or overly formal.

After the ceremony, the paperwork is signed and registered so you can apply for your official marriage certificate.

How you support couples

From the moment a couple books, I guide them through the legal side in a clear, calm and very human way. I explain the paperwork step by step, in plain language. I prepare and lodge the NOIM with you and let you know exactly what identification is required.

I keep track of dates and deadlines, so nothing is missed or left to chance. I ensure the legal wording is included smoothly within the ceremony, without interrupting the feeling or flow of the day. After the ceremony, I register the marriage promptly and explain how to obtain your official marriage certificate.

My aim is that couples never feel like they’re “doing something wrong” or forgetting something important. 

What are some trends you’re seeing in wedding ceremonies right now?

TikTok has a lot to answer for with Trends at the moment. Some ideas look great on screen but don’t always translate into a real moment on the day.  They can feel staged. 

Here are the ceremony trends I am genuinely seeing work well right now:

Smaller, more meaningful weddings

Couples are prioritising connection over scale. Fewer guests, more intention. This often allows ceremonies to feel calmer, more personal and less performative and couples are far more present in the moment.

Less “show”, more sincerity

There’s a noticeable move away for trends that look good for social media and toward moments that feel genuine. People want ceremonies that land emotionally in the room, not just look good in a reel.

Thoughtful inclusion of loved ones

Instead of lots of readings or roles, couples are choosing one or two meaningful ways to include family, children, or friends, something that feels natural rather than obligatory.

The ceremonies that resonate most aren’t trend-led, they’re people-led. Trends can offer inspiration, but the most meaningful ceremonies are the ones that make sense for that couple, in that moment, with those people present.

How should couples go about choosing the right celebrant for them?

If you get the opportunity, have a chat with a number of celebrants to see who you connect with. Most celebrants I know offer a no-obligation meeting to see if you’re a good fit. That initial meeting should feel like a conversation, not an interview.

Choosing the right celebrant is less about ticking boxes and more about connection.

Pay attention to their voice, both literally and figuratively. Read their words, watch their videos or listen to them speak. Ask yourself whether they feel like someone you would be comfortable having by your side on such an important day. If the language feels forced, overly polished or just not quite “you,” trust that instinct.

While experience matters, shared values matter just as much. Do you feel a genuine connection? It can be easy to base your decision on price, but there’s so much more to consider. Read their reviews, and even better, if you’ve seen them in action at another wedding, that can be incredibly helpful.

What questions should couples ask a celebrant before booking?

The initial meeting should feel like a conversation, not an interview. Pay attention to how comfortable you feel talking with them and whether they listen to and understand your vision.

Some questions you might like to ask include:

How long have they been a celebrant

How do they get to know couples and craft a ceremony that reflects your story?

What is their process for taking care of the legalities

Do they offer rehearsal guidance, and how will they support you on the day?

What is included in their fee and are there any additional costs?

What’s one piece of advise you’d give couples when planning their ceremony?

Enjoy the planning. Your ceremony is a small but meaningful moment in time, marking a significant milestone in your life together. Try not to get caught up in the stress or the details and focus on what truly matters to you as a couple. 

What’s been the most emotional or unforgettable ceremony you’ve witnessed?

Over the years, I’ve witnessed so many unforgettable moments. Every ceremony carries its own unique emotion. I’ve seen couples share vows that brought everyone to tears and moments of quiet reflection that felt almost sacred. I have seen a father be released from hospital on the morning of the wedding to walk his only daughter down the aisle. I have married parents whose precious little boy I had previously conducted a funeral for. I have married couples who waited 38 years to legally formalise their relationship because it wasn’t possible when they first fell in love. I have even conducted a hospital wedding where the groom sadly passed away shortly afterwards.

I feel very lucky to have a front row seat to witness these incredible moments. 

Do you have any funny or heartwarming stories from a wedding you can share?

There are so many unscripted moments on wedding days that could easily be seen as mishaps but they often become some of the most special and remembered stories. One example comes to mind at a wedding, the best man had carefully rehearsed his speech and was ready to support the groom on the day, only to realise halfway through the ceremony that he had left the rings at home. For a moment, everyone froze but thinking quickly, we borrowed their parents’ rings for the ceremony.

The couples’ parents were delighted to hand over their rings, thrilled to be included in such a small and meaningful way. The ceremony went ahead smoothly, the couple exchanged the “borrowed” rings, and the story became one everyone at the wedding remembered for years. Even now, the couple laughs about it whenever they look at their rings and the poor bestman still gets lovingly teased for forgetting to do his one job for the day.  

If you could change one myth couples believe about ceremonies, what would it be?

The ceremony isn’t just the long, obligatory part before the party. It can be the most meaningful part of your day.

Celebrant featured in this article: Fiona Garrivan

All images taken by Tamara Little Photography